Published: October 08, 2008 08:33 am         

RANDOM THOUGHTS: Why are people biased against marriage?

In the 1960s Frank Sinatra delighted his fans with the song, “Love and Marriage.” At that time many believed that love and marriage really did go together like a horse and carriage.

Fast forward to 1987. That year Ted Koppel gave the commencement address at Duke University and his subject was a surprise. He spoke on morality. He said we have convinced ourselves that slogans will save us. One example Koppel gave was, “Enjoy sex wherever and whenever you please, but always be sure you do it safely.” His response was, “No, a thousand times no because it is wrong.” He added, “What Moses brought down from Mount Sinai was not the Ten Suggestions but the Ten Commandments.”

Now in 2008 a disturbing question is asked. Does today’s generation accept television’s negative view of marriage? The Parents Television Council has just issued a special report called Happily Never After. Last fall 207.5 hours of prime-time shows on the five major broadcast networks were monitored and the results are used in this report.

An editorial in the Washington Times described the findings showing “an obvious bias against the institution of marriage.” Times Magazine’s reviewer said, “I do think they have a point about the portrayal of sex and marriage.” The Miami Herald reported the words used in the studies’ conclusion, “Television programming seems to be actively seeking to undermine marriage by portraying it in a negative light.”

In Happily Never After, sex inside marriage is shown as non-existent or as a source of misery, never as an expression of love and commitment. But sex outside marriage is portrayed as being positive and far more exciting than sex within marriage. Children are watching and absorbing these messages.

This summer I read a story about a happy marriage. The Texas couple, ages 100 and 101, celebrated 80 years of marriage in 2007. They planned to marry in 1927 and when a traveling tent show came to town and offered $25 to any couple who would agree to marry on stage, they applied.

With that $25 they bought a bedroom suite, a kitchen cabinet and dishes. They have the cabinet and still use the dishes. They were married in November and in December they started building their house on a lot they bought for $50. The completed house cost $1000 and they still live in it. Along came the Depression and he found a job on the waterfront which paid 35 cents an hour, the highest pay in those days.

For this couple being married 80 years doesn’t seem like a big deal. “We just never thought about anything else but staying married. We never did think about separating or anything ‘cause things weren’t perfect. All you can do is make the best of it.”

My husband and I agree with those thoughts. Compared to that couple we feel like youngsters even though we observed our 66th wedding anniversary last week. All these years later we are enjoying the blessings of those years through our three sons and one daughter. They gave us eight grandchildren and as of this year they have given us six great-grandchildren. For us love and marriage was the only way.

Dorothy Copus Brush is a Fairfield Glade resident and Crossville Chronicle staffwriter whose column is published each Wednesday. She may be reached at dcb1@frontiernet.net.