Published: August 05, 2008 11:49 am         

THEREFORE I AM: Does a Super Bowl win trump the wife and kids?

No one loves his wife and kids more than I, but what does that have to do with winning a Super Bowl? Or the World Series? Or the NBA championship? I’ve been happily married for nearly 15 years and have two wonderful children, but how do those feats compare with hoisting the Lombardi Trophy? Sadly, I’ll never know.

Recently I saw a championship-winning football coach being interviewed on TV, and he was talking about the thrill of reaching the pinnacle of his profession. (I forget who the coach is. I could guess, but I’d probably be wrong. It doesn’t really matter anyway. We’ve all heard dozens of coaches express pretty much the same thing. Even when it comes to family and life concepts, they inevitably revert to coach-speak.)

So anyway, this unidentified coach said, in effect, that apart from his wedding day and the births of his children, winning the Super Bowl was the greatest day of his life. While I applaud the man’s obvious loyalty and love for his family, I think he may be missing something.

Let me reiterate (for my own personal domestic safety) that I love, love, love my wife and kids. I’d do anything for them — take a bullet, drive them 1,500 miles in seven days, stick my finger in an electrical outlet, you name it. I will always cherish my wedding day and the days on which my kids were born. That being said, I don’t remember anyone handing me a trophy on my wedding day, and I don’t recall fireworks and confetti in the maternity ward.

In the course of human history, billions and billions and billions of people have made babies and walked down the aisle. The number of head coaches who have won a Super Bowl? Fewer than 40. More people have been elected president of the United States than have led teams to a Super Bowl victory. We’re talking about a very select group of people. I can’t imagine how that day would take a backseat to much of anything.

Did I mention that I love my wife and kids? Good.

When a coach walks onto the field on Super Bowl Sunday, he knows one of two things will happen. Either his team will win and he’ll be filled with unimaginable pride and excitement, or his team will lose and he’ll go through life questioning his every call and wondering “what if.” But my wedding day and children’s births were more predictable. Sure, there was a slight, slight chance of Shelia leaving me at the altar or some horrific medical problem arising during childbirth, but the odds were heavily stacked toward wonderful outcomes, and I’m thankful that’s what I got.

What I’m saying is that mystery and a good chance at failure add to the excitement. No one gave the New York Giants a snowball’s chance last season against the undefeated New England Patriots. Nevertheless, the Giants pulled off what was, in sports terms, a miracle. Are you going to tell me that the Giants’ coach would rank that day behind his wedding day? I’ve been to (and in) more weddings than I can remember, and none of them (mine included) were as thrilling as that game was — and I was at home sitting on my couch! Put yourself in the coach’s shoes. The endorphin rush alone would keep my head spinning for a week. I’m sorry, but standing at the altar reciting vows while wearing rented clothes can’t possibly compare with that.

I did say that I love my wife and kids, right? Right.

Am I calling the coach who said his wedding day and children’s births ranked higher than a Super Bowl win a liar? Absolutely not, but I’m not sure he’s thought it all the way through. If the unthinkable happened and I somehow won, say, a Pulitzer Prize, I doubt it would be more thrilling than my children’s births, but I’m certain it would top my wedding day — maybe not my wedding night, but certainly my wedding day.

I doubt there’s a pro coach anywhere who would “trade” his wife and kids for a championship. I’m not talking about sacrificing one to reach the other. It’s not an either-or proposition. I’m just saying that winning a big-time championship (or being recognized as the best of the best in any endeavor) certainly must be the sweetest icing on the cake. So until the Pulitzer people call, the wife and kids will battle for the top two spots.

David Spates is a Knoxville resident and Crossville Chronicle contributor whose column is published each Tuesday.