Published: May 28, 2009 02:45 pm      

I SAY: What do you say to grads?

This week hundreds of parents and families gathered at our two high schools as their seniors walked across the stage and received their diploma. To the students, it has been 12 long years. If they only knew.

I am in the unique situation of having two make that walk into the next phase of their lives. Tess is graduating from Stone Memorial High School while Prudence is graduating from Cumberland County High School.

It occurs to me that I should make a meager attempt at sharing some wisdom with the two graduates, but what does one say that will be meaningful and not come across as another one of Dad's lectures?

I want to avoid the old, worn-out cliches that usually fall on these occasions. Truth be known, I could not even remember who my graduation speaker was, let alone, what he said.

There are a few things that I would hope would be helpful.

It is a great accomplishment, meeting the goals and requirements and it is something we are proud of you for doing. It is something you should take pride in as well.

However, this is not the end of anything but the second phase of your lives. The first phase was before you went to school and what you learned from your parents and hopefully it was something.

Now that this phase is over, you will learn real quick that the world doesn't really get excited about what you did the last 12 years as much as what you are going to do next.

What is placed in your hands is a piece of paper that simply states you have met the requirements of the school system and the state that qualifies you as a high school graduate.

Don't stop there and think you have it made. Whether you go to paramedic school or a liberal arts college, go and go now while you can. Once you interrupt your educational process, it is so very hard to go back. It can be done, but the task is made much harder with other obligations competing for your time.

Whatever you do, be happy. When you work for someone you owe them an honest day's effort for an honest day's pay, no matter what that pay is or what you the job is. Do your best.

I have never pushed any of my children to do anything professionally in their lives other than make choices that leave them happy and satisfied. I don't care if they are brain surgeons or manage a fast food restaurant. What I do care about is the effort that is put forth. Whatever you do, do your best and be happy.

If you ever thought life should be fair, forget that. All you can hope to do is be fair in what you do. The world doesn't play by the same rules and if you think that life is played out on a level field you will be hurt and disappointed. Prepare yourselves for whatever life throws at you and you will be OK.

Don't buy the excuse that life today is so much harder for you than for generations past.

On May 27, 1970, I graduated from a small high school in Alabama. Before I could receive my diploma that night, I had to go down to the draft board that morning and register for the draft. Not only was it a time of Vietnam, it was also a time of the Civil Rights movement. Our future was literally unknown.

Every generation has its own trials and tribulations to face and the times we are in are tough in their own way. But don't think for a moment you hold the franchise on hard times.

It is the hard times that forge each of us into what we are, and how you respond to these challenges is the mettle that makes you.

I guess the most important thing is to just be true to yourselves. You know right from wrong. You should know, or will shortly find out, that what life is really about is choices. Good things come from good choices and bad things thrive upon bad choices.

If you are true to yourself and consult with your mind when you follow your heart, you will be OK.

Look at what you think are the mistakes that I have made, and vow not to make the same ones.

Most important, for all of those who might not have your best interest at heart, and for all those who will work against you, there are those who love you unconditionally and who will stand by you no matter how hard the going gets.

As the line in one of my favorite songs states, "The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return."