Crossville Chronicle, Crossville, TN

Glade Sun

November 20, 2013

Nude Writings, a new art form

CROSSVILLE — Reading recently of John Dickinson, a little known patriot, elected representative, and erudite writer/framer of such important documents as our Declaration of Independence and Constitution; I concluded that writers seldom get credit as being artists. And yet valued writings are indeed an art form. None of our revered films are based solely on a painting or sculpture. Although many of the great events of history have been portrayed in sculptures or paintings, they would be meaningless without defining writings of the events. I also concluded that writers rarely obtain real lasting respect as artists. Part of this may be due to the fact that writers rarely aspire to a high level of nude writing as do painters and sculptors. Nearly every honored painter and sculptor, even prior to ancient Greece, has portrayed nudes in their paintings or sculpting. We writers need to change this imbalance. Therefore I intend to lead the way by establishing myself as a proponent and leading practitioner of nude writing as an art form. I may shock a few, or many, of my fellow church goers with this announcement; but talented writers everywhere need such leadership.

It should be no secret that plagiarism, common among time honored painters and sculptors, is also practiced in varying degrees by famous writers. Therefore I set out in my quest of nude writings by following a trail of established master pieces. A starting place might be the thinly clad Winged Victory by an ancient unknown Greek artist (circa 200-190 BC). I would write of the forward thrust of the statue with feathered wings extended to the skies in eternal flight and I would improve the masterpiece by adding a head and face. I completed most of the written sculpture with a plan of adding the face of Sophia Loren, Elizabeth Taylor or the Greek actress Melina Mercouri. I was conflicted on the choice. Oh, no hurry, I believe I’ll add the face later...

I moved on to that veritable cornucopia of art, The Renaissance and Michelangelo; the most notable artist of that period. In 1504, after many prototypes in granite and marble he crafted the David, a masterpiece of the ages. Painters and sculptors rely on models for their inspiration. Would you believe it; not a single member of my golf foursome was interested in nude modeling for my venture into nude writing. For my David I would have to rely on a full length mirror and a plethora of wishful imagination. I set up my sculpting studio and studied the image in the mirror carefully. I would need a great deal of imagination. I set to work ardently and furiously with silly putty and my nude writing computer. Did I mention I would need a great deal of imagination?

There were other setbacks. I ran out of silly putty; Wal-Mart did not stock the amount I required. I decided it may be easier for the novice nude writer to accomplish nude writing in paintings rather than sculpture. I decided to move on to a more contemporary painter of universal note. Pablo Picasso (1881–1973) based his prolific amount of paintings, sculptures, ceramics and prints of nudes on nude models. His models were often wives, girlfriends or mistresses. He was also prolific in models. These relationships may have resulted from his bohemian lifestyle, or he may have been too cheap to pay a model, or it could happen to anyone from Spain, or other nations that relocates to Paris, France at an impressionable age.

Nevertheless, I now had the perfect artist to plagiarize. His paintings covered a range of nudes from realism in his early years prior to 1900, to his leadership in cubism, and many other avant garde styles. Cubism interested me, even if I used a live model. A live model is a criterion any aspiring nude writer would agree, is a necessity for real art. With cubism, no one could identify the model without the artist’s revelation. If Picasso was too cheap to pay a live model he may have invented cubism in his later years to mask the age of the models of his youth, or possibly his eyesight was not as good as it use to be. Mind you, this is only theory. Yet who would be willing to be my nude model? This was a difficult decision after my wife declined vociferously. Much as I adore her, I believe she does not clearly understand the mind of a talented artist, especially one who asks her to be a nude model. So there you have it; a new form of written artistic endeavor in limbo due to the need of a nude model. I have very high standards for such a model, although I cannot afford transportation from great distances for her required employment. I have a person in mind who resides at times in Tennessee; however, I have had a difficult time trying to contact her. If you by chance have a phone number or other contact for Nicole Kidman could you please pass it on to me, the history of cherished nude writings hangs in the balance?

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