Crossville Chronicle, Crossville, TN


March 13, 2014

Around the Town: Ready for a good laugh?

CROSSVILLE — I always enjoy a good laugh. Experts say we would all be much happier and healthier if we took the time each and every day to find something to laugh about. A friend sent me a list of words with a twist on their meanings. Please read them carefully as it may take a second for the alternative meaning to sink it.

1.  Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.

2. Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.

3. Burglarize: What a crook sees with.

4. Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

5. Eclipse: What an English barber does for a living.

6.  Heroes: What a guy in a boat does.

7.  Left Bank: What the robber did with his bank of money.

8. Misty: How golfers create divets.

9.  Paradox: Two physicians

10. Parasites: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

11. Pharmacist: A helper on the farm.

12. Polarize: What penguins see with.

13. Primate: Removing your spouse from in front of the television (pry-mate?)

14.  Relief: What trees do in the spring

15. Rubberneck: What you do to help your wife relax.

16. Selfish: What the owner of a seafood store does.

Here is what is happening around town over the next few weeks: 

Youth talent is wanted for next Thursday’s annual TAD Youth Talent Show. This yearly competition has two age brackets: 8-12 and 13-21. All types of talent are accepted. Winners in each category will receive a $100 cash prize. The winner of the 13-21 year old contest will advance to the Knoxville contest in September during the Tennessee Valley Fair. There is no charge to enter. All participants, however, must register with the TAD Center before the contest. Call the center at 456-2859 for additional information.

Spring is a week away, and with it comes the annual Relay for Life Pageant benefiting the American Cancer Society. Organizer Whitney Sidwell says the date for this year’s event is April 12 at the new B53 Church in Woodmere Mall. There are six age brackets: Baby, 2-3; Tiny Tot, 4-6 years; Little Miss Relay, 7-9 years old; Princess Relay for girls 10-12 years of age; Teen Relay for ages 13-15; and Miss Relay for girls 16-21 years of age.

Sidwell said, “This is an open pageant and a fundraiser for the 2014 Cumberland County Relay for Life. There will be a winner, first runner-up, second runner-up and most photogenic for each age group. If you would like to enter your child’s picture in the most photogenic contest, you will need to bring a 5x7 photo to submit the day of the pageant. Photo entry fee is $5. General entry fee is $35. Entry fees may be picked up at Mortgage Investors Group on 1307 West Ave.”

She also adds that all winners from last year’s contests are asked to return to the stage to crown the new winners. If you need additional information, you may call her at 200-3799 or email her at


Students’ art work from all of Cumberland County’s schools will be on display at the Art Circle Public Library, Crossville City Hall and the Palace Theatre during the months of March and April. The exhibits of visual art works will be featured from two galleries, sponsored by Cumberland Artisans for Creative Expression, in cooperation with the annual Youth Expo slated for April 12 at the Cumberland County Community Complex. These displays may be viewed during regular business hours.

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  • 8-8 counseling center-play with dolls.jpg Christian Counseling Center celebrating 12 years

    Help the Christian Counseling Center of Cumberland County (C5) celebrate 12 years of community service. Dine at Ruby Tuesday of Crossville Aug. 8, 9 or 10. Print the flyer from the center’s website,, and give it to the server.

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    Attention anyone with a closet! Those shoes no longer wanted are desperately needed to fight the human tragedy of global poverty.

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    July 22, 2014

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  • Marriage licenses (Published July 23, 2014)

    July 22, 2014

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    Most of Americans today never stop to think how different our lives would have been several hundred years ago. How many times a day do we wash our hands, and do we ever realize when we take those hot showers and lather up, the long all-day process our ancestors had to go through just to make a bar of soap? Not to mention packing water to the house and heating it up over a wood fire just to have a bath and wash clothes. Times are changing faster than ever.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • pleasant hill ramblings.jpg Mathes restores a bit of Pleasant Hill's history

    Miss Alice Adshead, RN, created a “wilderness trail” through the woods just down the hill from Uplands Sanatorium, the first hospital in Cumberland County once located on Main St. in Pleasant Hill.

    July 21, 2014 1 Photo

  • plateau gardening-hydrangeas5117.jpg Prune flowering shrubs: now or wait until February?

    Experts say, “Don’t prune woody-stemmed plants (shrubs, trees and some types of vines) after mid-August.” Do pay close attention to that advice. The purpose of this late-season pruning prohibition is to keep plants healthy.

    July 21, 2014 2 Photos

  • IMG_1850.jpg Burgess Falls offers a big payoff for a short hike

    At Burgess Falls, you can be out of your car and taking in the breathtaking view of the Falling Water River as it falls 136 feet in the third and final drop of the river with just a short walk through the woods.
    But even though the state park is close to civilization, this natural wonder retains its wild and scenic reputation.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo 19 Links

  • 8-2 colonial dames.jpg Colonial Dames honors members with luncheon

    The John McKnitt Chapter Colonial Dames 17th Century held its May meeting at the home of Joyce Ernst. Those present were Sherry Sneed, Jessie Watts, Dot Brodhag, Kandy B. Smith, Lynn Constan, Donna Hamilton, Margaret Markum, Lana Davis, Sara Tripiciano, Jane Tavernier, Joyce Ernst, Kathy Wilson, Charlotte Reynolds, and Cheryl Chrobot. President Lana Davis welcomed the ladies and followed with the opening ritual.

    July 17, 2014 1 Photo