By Robert Evans Burnette / Chronicle columnist
May 21, 2008 07:04 am
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On April 9, I wrote about the loss of "A man, a legend and a role model." The man who was the subject of that column was the late Charlton Heston. I confess that I had the distinct pleasure of actually meeting the man, and that I new members of his family. I did not realize, at the time, that I should be ashamed of having made his acquaintance. I didn't realize that he was nothing more than a "gun-toting, homophobic nut." I stand humbly corrected.
In my unabashed ignorance, I actually believed that staying married to the same woman for more than six decades was the mark of a man. I did not know that such remarkable devotion would only reveal the man as a "homophobe." I now know that his dedication was nothing more than a ploy to hide his fear of homosexuals. Now that I think about it, that was pretty clever. Considering he worked in Hollywood, it was especially clever.
I stupidly thought the vast majority of men on the Cumberland Plateau actually approved of their Constitutional right under the Second Amendment to own guns. After all, a long time ago, this was the land of the "long hunter." It was also the source of Colonel Jackson's Volunteers, without which we would have lost the Battle of New Orleans in the War of 1812. But, that was a long time ago. In this enlightened age, the men of Eastern Tennessee must have come to their senses and abandoned their former right to bear firearms. That explains why there are no hunters or NRA members in Cumberland County. They would be nothing more than gun-toting nuts.
That having been said, it is with the deepest humility that I confess to having received a letter from California about that column. The letter said, in part, "The Heston family continues to be overwhelmed by the depth of love and support that have come their way since Mr. Heston died. It has been remarkable and we are all deeply grateful." Referring to my column in the Crossville Chronicle, it continued, "It captured Mr. Heston perfectly. He would've been grateful to you for telling the truth gracefully. I'm glad to have the copy for his archives. Good job!" I can only hope that his family never finds out how the people of Tennessee actually felt about the man.
The letter continued, "Please know that your generous and reassuring words have meant more than you can know. Please accept in return for your thoughtfulness the gratitude of the entire family." For reasons that I am at loss to explain, I cannot help but appreciate their sentiments. In the words of the late, great Mark Twain, "Maybe I was raised wrong."
The letter closed with the words, "May God continue to hold all of us under the shadow of His wings." Obviously, the person who wrote this letter was not aware that religion was the exclusive property of an "old woman whose only claim to fame is how much cotton she can pick." That is a problem that often affects people whose world vision is much broader than the distance from the cotton field to the outhouse.
Robert Evans Burnette is a Crossville Chronicle columnist. His column appears on Wednesdays.
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