Published: March 25, 2008 07:05 pm         

THE WAY I SEE IT: Please forgive me, Mr. Gore

As much as I hate to admit it, I owe the former vice president and Academy Award and Noble Prize recipient an apology. I confess that I thought his global warming campaign was a fraud. I thought that the only human-induced source of global warming was the hot air coming out of his mouth. I was wrong and I am sorry.

Mr. Gore promoted the theory that the earth was getting warmer, and that the greatest contributor to this potential disaster was mankind. Not mankind in general, but specifically the variety of mankind that created the modern, industrialized world. It was the modern age of capitalism and free enterprise that fueled the climate change. It was the demand for wealth, power and unjustified corporate profits that were the culprits. In the entire course of human history, this was the first time that a greedy few were in a position to financially enslave those who loved the earth more than they loved money. I am ashamed to admit that I was part of that element.

First, we cut down the regal forests to sell lumber, at obscene profits, to build equally obscenely large houses. Then, we denuded the great prairies to plant row crops and grains which could be sold to enrich the scoundrels that owned the corporations. In the process, we destroyed the native prairie grasses that fed the herds of buffalo, which in turn fed the natives who hunted them for food. We built railroads to carry the products of our exploitation to the far corners of this once beautiful land. Along the way, we created cities and villages where once there had only been a pristine wilderness.

Under a better political system, every American could have benefited equally. But, the Founding Fathers didn't want equal opportunity. Secretly, all they wanted was to usurp the money and power that were the rightful property of King George of England. They wanted to build a society in which the major benefits would go to a select few who would hide their greed under a cloak of hard work, ambition and creativity. They invented a country that would become the land of the privileged and the home of the few.

As time went by, those privileged few weren't so satisfied with only looting this country. They carried their scheme across the oceans and beyond the equator to victimize those distant lands, as well. Other countries felt the need to compete with this new Goliath. They, too, built factories and food processing plants. They drilled for oil and mined coal. In the process, they brought pollution to their own lands and increased global warming. But, the real instigator was capitalistic, opportunistic America. And, I am truly sorry.

I came to my senses when I read a recent report by a worldwide scientific body of indisputable repute that proved conclusively that a global decrease in temperature of a full degree centigrade had occurred in just the past year. They said that the change had wiped out the increases in temperature of the last one hundred years! So, I humbly apologize, Mr. Gore. I really thought that your scheme to "sell" carbon credits was just a scam. Apparently, it worked. The High Priest of Gaia was right, and I was wrong.

Robert Evans Burnette is a Crossville Chronicle columnist. His column appears on Wednesdays.